June 2005 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Two gas company servicemen were checking meters in a neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman watched the two men from her window as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the check, one man challenged his younger coworker to a foot race back to the truck. As they ran up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”


The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “I’ve found a man just like father!” Her mother replied, “So what do you want from me, a sympathy card?”


Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


Before she died, an old lady wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors. She applied for a passport and was told she’d have to take the loyalty oath first. The passport clerk said, “Raise your right hand, please.” The old lady raised her right hand as the clerk asked, “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, domestic or foreign?” Her sweet, wrinkled face paled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”


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