April 1998 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Brains Graphic

"Mr. Smith, I have some good news and some bad news," the doctor said ominously. "The bad news is that you have a brain tumor, and it's inoperable."
"That's terrible!" Mr. Smith gasped. "What's the good news?"
"Our hospital has just been certfied to do brain transplants," the doctor said. "As luck would have it, we have two healthy brains available right now. One is a man's brain, which costs $100,000. The other is a woman's brain, which costs $30,000."
"Why," the patient couldn't help but ask, "is there such a difference in price?"
"The female brain," the doctor explained, "is used."

Earl couldn't wait to show off his new hunting dog to Cletus, who was notoriously hard to impress. Earl decided to say nothing, letting the dog's abilities speak for themselves. As a flock of ducks flew overhead the hunters fired, and one duck dropped into the pond. The dog ran to the water's edge, then walked across the top of the water to get the duck, returning without so much as a wet paw.

Earl was hugely disappointed when Cletus didn't say a thing. Soon, more ducks flew by. They took aim and shot, and again the dog performed its amazing water-walking trick. And again, no response from his friend.
"Dadgummit, Cletus, if you ain't blind!" Earl burst out in frustration. "Didn't you notice nothin' special about my dog!?"
"Yep, I noticed," Cletus said as he spat. "Yer dog can't swim."

"The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything." —Edward John Phelps

"April 1st: The day we are reminded of what we are the other 364."
—Mark Twain

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