June 1998 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Thirty New Yorkers arrived together at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looked at his list and frowned. "I'm sorry, but there's been a mix-up," he said. "Someone gave me the wrong list, and I can't tell from this which of you I'm supposed to let in."
St. Peter excused himself and consulted with God. "Only ten of them are supposed to be let in," God explained. "You will have to prepare a test to see which ones are to join us."
St. Peter thanked God and left, but in a few moments he was back. "They're gone!"
"All thirty of them?" said God.
"Not the New Yorkers," cried St. Peter. "The Gates!"

Bumper sticker we saw:
your kid's an honor student, but you still don't know how to use a turn signal.

Computer User's Lament:
I wish that they would sell it
I really hate this dumb machine
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.

"Son," the Little League coach said to the young pitcher, "I'm sorry, but I think it's time to have someone relieve you."
"But coach," the little pitcher argued, "I struck this guy out the last time, remember?"
"I know," replied the coach, "but it's still the same inning."

"The best things in life are behind bullet-proof glass." —Rita Rudner

"I want to thank you for teaching me that the only way to do something correctly is to do it right." —Yogi Berra, presenting an award to Joe DiMaggio

"You can observe a lot just by watching." —Yogi Berra

Freudian slip: when you say one thing but mean your mother.


"That was the worst fun
I ever had."

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