January 2002 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Just wondering: If it’s zero degrees outside, and it will be twice as cold outside tomorrow—how cold will it be?

Just wondering: Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

The executive wanted to learn something about the job applicant’s personality, so she asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”

The applicant thought a minute. “Um—the living one.”

Sign we saw:
“we put the k in “kwality.”

The Seven Ages of Man: Spill, Drill, Thrill, Bill, Ill, Pill, and Will.

Just wondering: Why is the boat that pushes barges called a tug?

Just wondering: Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

“Honey, I have the hiccups,” a man said to his wife.

“That’s the least of your problems,” she replied firmly. “I just got back from the doctor, and he said I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant?!” he gasped. “But all of our kids are in college!”

“Relax, honey. I was just kidding. I’m not really pregnant.”

“That’s not funny!” he yelled. “What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?”

“Oh, c’mon,” she said. “I cured your hiccups, didn’t I?”

Bumper sticker we saw:
Your kid may be an honors student, but you still drive like an idiot.

A little boy was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages of the family Bible. Suddenly, a leaf that had been pressed between the pages fell out. “Mom, look what I found!”

“What have you got there, dear?” she asked.

With astonishment he said, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”

Holiday theory of relativity: the more relatives visiting you, the slower the time passes.

“Once I laughed so hard milk came out my nose.”

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