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March 2000 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes


There once was a veteran sea captain, who was beloved and respected by his crew. For years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas get the best of him, and he was famous for his calm, quiet confidence and his expert seamanship. But one thing intrigued his crew: every morning he would take a tiny piece of paper out of a locket around his neck, look at it thoughtfully for a minute, then carefully fold it up and put it back in the locket. For years this ritual went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? A letter from a lost love? Everyone guessed, no one knew.

On the day the captain died, the first mate led the entire crew into the captain’s quarters. The room fell silent as he opened the lock-et, and everyone’s eyes grew wide as the first mate’s face flushed. He read the note aloud: “Port = left, starboard = right.’’


In California, schoolteachers and baseball players went on strike on the same day. Maybe they should just switch jobs— that way they’d both get paid what they deserve.


“The good news: it’s not hypochondria.”

Doctor

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