April 2002 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

The kindergarten teacher was working up a sweat helping the little boy get his boots on. Just as she finished he said, “They’re on the wrong feet!” Sure enough they were, and it was almost as hard getting them off. “My, your boots are tight!” she puffed after struggling to get them back on the right feet. “These aren’t my boots.” “Why didn’t you say so?” she exclaimed, barely controlling her frustration as she struggled to remove them again. The second she got them off he said, “They’re my brother’s boots. Mine are too small.” The teacher didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. “Okay now,” she panted, “where are your mittens?” He replied, “I stuffed them in the boots...”

Inmates at a local prison escaped in a utility van, which soon collided with a cement mixer. The suspects were described as hardened criminals.

I just got a job at the brake manufacturing plant, but the company is on the skids.

My brother-in-law is not very bright. When he was asked what the capital of California was, he answered “C.”

On the first day of spring semester at the local college, I saw three students hard at work on their calculators. Surprised that they had received such a tough assignment so early in the semester, I asked them what they were working on.

“We have to figure out,” one replied without breaking her concentration, “how many days until spring break.”

“Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.”

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