September 2002 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

	“How was your summer?” one bee asked another. “Too much rain and cold, not enough flowers, not enough pollen,” his friend lamented. “Listen,” the first bee said, “I just came from a bar mitzvah around the corner, and they put out flowers everywhere!”
“Thanks!” chirped the second bee, and he buzzed off. An hour later he returned, fat and happy, wearing a tiny skull cap. “Looks like you had a good time,” the first bee said, “but what’s that on your head?” “It’s a yarmulke,” explained the second bee. “I didn’t want them to think I was a WASP.”

I asked my wife, “If there was a nuclear war tomorrow, and you were the last woman alive on the face of the Earth, would you help procreate the species?”

“And you?” she asked. “Are you alive or dead?”

“Gone,” I replied.

“I suppose,” she sighed reluctantly, “I’d have to do what was necessary.”

As I wandered out of the room I heard her mutter, “But you can bet I’d set myself up as Queen.”

Men are like coffee: better when rich and hot.

Men are like remote controls: simple, easy and usually lying around a TV.

Men are like plastic wrap: cheap, clingy and easy to see through.

Men are like mascara: they run at the first sign of emotion.

“Now we’re getting somewhere!
That’s the exact opposite of what I’m looking for.”

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