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Middle age is when the narrow waist and the broad mind begin to change places. |
The day after an employee-only barbecue, Mark asked Mike, “Did your wife have much to say when you got home so late last night?” With a dramatic eye roll, Mike replied, “No, but that didn’t keep her from talking for two hours.”
A frustrated husband commented to the neighbor over the fence, “You know, George, I’m never going to understand women. They can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto their upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.”
A couple had just finished tucking their five young ones into bed one evening when they heard sobbing coming from four-year-old Billy’s room. Rushing to his side, the parents found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind. Desperate to calm him, the husband palmed a penny that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy’s ear. Billy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father’s hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully, “Do it again, Dad!”
A little old lady, who lived on the third floor of an apartment building broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. “Can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady. “Yes,” he replied. “Thank goodness!” she said. “I’m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!”
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