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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Upon answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the radio that there’s a car going the wrong way on Highway 401. Please be careful!” “Hun,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!” |
Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumberyard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.” “All right,” replied the clerk. How long do you need them?” The customer paused for a moment and said, “I’d better go check.” After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re going to build a house.”
The ultimate brushoff to a bad pickup line: “I wish I had a lower IQ so I could enjoy your company.”
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
The flower vendor was an old hand at unloading his last few bunches. Appealing to a businessman on his way home, the vendor asked, “How about a nice bunch of roses to surprise your wife?” “Haven’t got a wife,” responded the businessman gruffly. “Then how about some carnations for your girlfriend?” proposed the vendor without missing a beat. “Haven’t got a girlfriend,” the businessman responded. “You lucky guy!” The vendor broke into a big smile. “Buy both bunches to celebrate!”
Overnight Lite
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