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One day after a nasty streak of bad weather, Mike asked his teenage son to take the dog for a long walk after school. When Mike came home from work, he found his son stretched out on the recliner, watching television. He had the leash in hand while the dog trotted away on the treadmill. |
You might be an E.R. doctor if your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He put the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. To impress the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the ‘unbreakable’ comb for everyone to see and said, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.”
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
During mail call at boot camp, Steve received several letters from home. The drill instructor was getting irritated at having to keep calling his name. “You must have a lot of people at home who like you, huh?” he barked. “Sir, no, sir!” Steve shouted. “Oh, so you‚re calling me a liar?” goaded the DI. Trained to think quickly, Steve yelled out, “Sir, creditors, sir!” The DI had to leave the room so he wouldn’t be seen laughing.
During an attack of laryngitis, Fran completely lost her voice. Her husband devised a system of taps to help them communicate. One tap meant, “Give me a kiss,” two taps meant “Yes,” seven taps meant “No,” and 95 taps meant “Take out the garbage.”
Overnight Lite
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