 |
"I have bad news," the doctor said grimly. "You're
very sick, and you only have ten left." "Ten what?" the man exclaimed in
horror. "Years? Months? Days? What? What?" "Nine…" |
"Here is the situation," a fourth grade teacher said, testing her students. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins yelling for help. His wife runs down to the bank, and— what's the first thing she should do?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "Draw out all his savings?"
Sign in an orange juice factory: concentrate!
Atheism: a non-prophet organization. —Sarah Bellam
Two developers were playing golf together, and one was complaining about the sluggish construction market. "There's no work, but at least my golf game is improving. How about you?" "I'm building a huge church," the other replied. "It's patterned after Notre Dame, with intricate stonework, marble floors, stained glass windows and a pulpit made entirely of inlaid ebony." "Wow, that's amazing!" the first developer gushed with envy. "What denomination is it for?" "I don't know," the other shrugged. "It's on spec."
| Q: | How do you scare a bachelor? |
| A: | Sneak up behind him and throw rice. |
Love is an unusual game-it either has two winners or none.
A college student, his wife and young daughter were attending the wedding of a friend. When the preacher got to the part about "for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer...", the little girl said aloud, "You picked poorer-huh, Mom?"
Marriage: the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
 "He does." |
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