It’s true: When the Giants won the Super Bowl, New York City Mayor David Dinkins had to cancel the appreciation ceremony after it was discovered that no one had invited the team.
“Football combines the two worst elements of life: violence and meetings.” —George Will
I watched too much television as a kid, so I have a short attention spandex pants are hideous.
Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.
Overheard on a police scanner:
Chief: “481 to Central—on scene, call me an ambulance.”
Dispatch, after a pause: “Attention all stations, attention: 481
is now an ambulance.”
Times are tough. My job at the brake manufacturer is about to hit the skids.
“Rob,” the boss said,
“you’ve been with the company for a year now. You started off in the
mail room. A week later you were promoted to sales, and a month after that you
were promoted to district manager. In just four short months you were nominated
to vice-chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire,” the boss
continued, “and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to
that?”
“Thanks!” Rob replied.
“Thanks?” the boss huffed. “Is that all you can
say?”
“I’m, sorry,” Rob blurted. “Thanks,
Dad.”
We had a lively discussion about why firemen always choose to be accompanied by a Dalmatian. After inventing a hundred unsatisfactory theories, one of our gang gave up and called his friend, the fire chief, who explained plainly: “That’s how they find the fire hydrant.”
Times are tough. Even bungee-jumping has hit bottom.
A husband and wife were sitting
wordlessly in the car after an argument. They passed a pig farm and the husband
poked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yes,”
she replied. “In-laws.”
Overnight Lite
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