January 2003 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes


A husband and wife were shopping at the mall, and his eyes followed a shapely woman as she passed by.

“So,” the wife said without looking up from the item she was examining, “was it worth the trouble you’re in?”


“Mom, is there really a Santa Claus?” a boy asked.

“Well,” she paused carefully, “what do you think?”

“Well, the cool video games and great baseball glove I got from you and the fantastic train set and model airplane I got from Santa were in the same wrapping paper...” he paused as he thought about his words, then added, “I tell you what—you and Dad go on as you have been, and let’s just forget we had this little talk.”


The man complained to his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

“Now, Doc—I can take it, whatever it is, so give it to me straight,” he said when the exam was done. “Tell me in plain English what’s wrong.”

“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”

“Okay,” said the man after a pause. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”


A man went to traffic court to argue about his parking ticket. He testified to the judge that a policeman had given him permission to park there.

“Would you recognize the officer if you saw him again?” the judge inquired.

“I would,” the defendant replied confidently.

“Okay,” said the judge, “when you see the officer again, tell him he owes you $50.”


Dieting: for those who are thick and tired of it.



“And now I’d like to invite our guest speaker
to lie down and say a few words...”


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