Canada Day is July
1st. Eons ago God declared, I am going to create a great land. It shall
be called Canada. It shall have majestic mountains filled with wildlife,
sparkling lakes bountiful with fish, lush forests full of elk and high cliffs
overlooking pristine beaches. Its inhabitants I shall call Canadians, and they
shall be known as the friendliest people on Earth.
The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right. William Safire
The House of Representatives changed the name of French fries to freedom fries in their cafeteria. To get us back, the French government announced that they will not change the name of American cheese.
Watermelon: its a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. Enrico Caruso
Im getting old. A friend called me last night at 9:00pm and said, Did I wake you?
The Boss asked sternly, When did
you get back from lunch?
About a quarter of twelve, the worker replied.
Nice try, the boss huffed. I saw you come in at 3 oclock.
Well, said the worker, three is a quarter of twelve, isnt it?
I can tell Im getting old. I had a party last night, and my neighbors didnt know.
After a frustrating day, the exasperated
golfer turned to his caddy and barked, You must be the worst caddy in the
I doubt it, replied the caddy calmly. That would be too much of a coincidence.
I call it a Four-Loaf Cleaver.
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