June 2003 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Harold and Al were on a small airplane when the pilot suddenly had a heart attack. “Don’t panic!” cried Harold heroically. “I’ll land this baby!” Seizing the controls, he aimed for the runway. Just as the wheels touched the ground, Al screamed out, “Red lights, Harold! Right in front of you!” Harold jammed on the brakes, and amid screeching and smoke he brought the plane to a shuddering stop just inches from the edge of the runway. “Holy cow!” Harold puffed, wiping his brow. “That sure was a short runway!” “Yeah,” agreed Al, looking side to side. “But look how wide it is!”

On a septic tank truck:
“we’re #1 in #2.”

Why is it that when you talk to God you’re praying, but when he talks back, you’re crazy?

“Dad,” a boy said after school, “We learned today that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn’t know his wife at all until after he marries her. It that true?”

“Son,” the dad replied, “that happens in every country.”

A troop of Boy Scouts volunteered to act as “victims” in a rescue procedure drill. The Scouts impersonated various wounded persons who were to be picked up and “treated.”

One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescue, but the first-aid people forgot about him. Upon discovering their error and arriving a few hours later, they found only this note: “Have bled to death and gone home.”

“Good news! They’re going to name a disease after you.”

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