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Ralph dropped some coins on the floor, but before he could pick them up, his dog ate them. Worried about his dog’s health, Ralph took his dog into the vet, who suggested he leave him overnight. The next morning, Ralph called to see how his dog was doing. The vet replied, “No change yet.” |
November is when Americans close their eyes, bow their heads, and give thanks for the turkeys they are about to receive… just days after voting.
Human relations manager to job candidate: “I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.”
Things were simpler years ago. Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years, and when he woke up, nobody asked him to endorse a mattress.
John teaching his parrot to
talk: “Repeat after me, ‘I can walk.”
Parrot: “I can
walk.”
John: “I can talk.”
Parrot: “I can
talk.”
John: “I can fly.”
Parrot: “That’s a
lie.”
The good thing about inflation is that the money you don’t have isn’t worth as much as it used to be.
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