January 2004 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

A man walked into his apartment's rental office and said, I'm moving from the apartment you rented me last year. Do you know where I can buy a couple hundred cockroaches? Of course not, the rental agent said. Why would you want to buy cockroaches? The man replied, "The lease says the apartment has to be in the same condition as when I moved in."


A young man at a New Year's party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette. "I thought you made a resolution to quit smoking?" his friend asks. "I'm in the process of quitting," the man says, "and I'm currently in the middle of phase one." What's phase one? "I've quit buying."


A little boy was promised a special surprise for his birthday. As he walked into the living room to see his surprise, he stared in awe at a full-grown Saint Bernard that stood taller than him. The boy inched up to it, walked slowly around it, and looked into its big, brown eyes and asked his mom, "Is he for me, or am I for him?"


The hotel desk clerk asked the newly arrived guest if he wanted a wake up call in the morning. No thanks, the guest replied. I always wake up at 6 a.m. on the dot. Really? the clerk asked. In that case, would you mind calling our operator when you wake up?


Forget health food, one lady told another. As I get older, I need all the preservatives I can get.



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