August 1998 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Number of words in...

..the Ten Commandments: 179

..the Gettysburg Address: 286

..the Declaration of Independence: 1,322

..government document regulating the sale of cabbage: 26,911

An architect, an artist and a programmer were discussing whether it was better to have a wife or a mistress.
"Guys, nothing beats being married," the architect said. "I enjoy building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship."
"A mistress," the artist countered, "is my source of mystery and passion."
"I prefer both," said the programmer to his startled friends. "Each assumes you are spending time with the other, and you can go to the office and get some work done."

Sign we saw at a body shop:
May we have the next dents?

Sign we saw on an RV:
Don't tailgate or I'll flush.

Did you hear about the two silkworms who were racing? They ended up in a tie.

Sign we saw at the barber's:
Curl up and dye.

Sign we saw at the dry cleaner's:
Drop your pants here

"I need forty two-by-fours," the young builder announced.
"We have a lot of sizes in stock," replied the lumberman. "How long do you want them?"
"They're for a garage," the buyer replied, "so we'll need them for quite a while."

"Have you noticed how much younger
antiques look nowadays?"

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