September 1999 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Men are like high heels: They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it

Men are like plungers: They're either in the hardware store or the bathroom.

"Doctor," the brash woman barked as she burst into the room without a knock, "tell me frankly what my problem is."
"Three things," he said after looking her over. "First, your jacket clashes impossibly with your skirt. Second, cut back by half your rouge and lipstick. Third," he continued, "I'm an artist—the doctor is next door."

The manager of a large office summoned the new guy to his office. "What's your name?"
"John."
"Look," the boss scowled, "I don't know what kind of a laid-back place you worked at before, but we don't go by first names around here. It breeds familiarity and leads to a breakdown in authority. It's last name only here: Smith, Jones, Baker, understand? Now what's your last name?"
The new guy sighed. "Darling, sir. John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

I finally got my head together. Then my body fell apart.

If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

I know I think too much, but before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Men are like mascara: They always run at the first sign of emotion.

"Honey, do you know where my pants are?"

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