December 1998 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

"I want to file a complaint," a man said to his landlord. "On Saturday nights from midnight until about three in the morning, the tenants upstairs keep shouting and stomping about on the floor!"
"I'm sorry, I'll speak to them at once," the manager replied. "It must be impossible to sleep."
"Sleep? Well, no," the man replied, "but they're interrupting my tuba practice."

Even during the holidays, my brother-in-law is cheap. When he takes a dollar out, George Washington squints in the light.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets the credit.

Efficiency:
Doing the thing right.
Effectiveness:
Doing the right thing.

The age of the Russian space station Mir is really beginning to show. To cheer up the orbiting cosmonauts, American NASA officials sent up an album of holiday music—but Mir's 8-track tape player broke.

Did you see the new doctor doll? It operates on batteries.

Personal ad we saw:

"X-ray technician seeks woman with inner beauty."

Sign we saw:
Microbiology lab:
Staph only!

Chemistry professors never die—they just smell that way.


"Stick' em up—and don't try anything funny."

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