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January 2000 Overnight Lite Discarded Jokes

Y2K bug we'd like to see:
> Date: January 1, 2000
> Subject: Vacation Pay
> Dear Valued Employee:
> Our records indicate that you have not used your vacation time for the past 100 years. Employees earn three weeks of paid leave per year, and one additional week is granted for every five years of service. Please take 9,400 days off work, or notify our office and your next pay check will reflect payment of $8,277,432.22 which will include pay and interest for the past 1,200 months.

"Something's wrong with my poor dog," the woman said to the veterinarian as she laid her spaniel on the table.

"Let's run a test," replied the vet. He reached down to the floor, picked up the office cat, and set it at the dog's feet. The cat's tail twitched as it gingerly walked around and over the dog, sniffing. Finally it let out a loud meow and jumped from the table, just as the dog snapped at it, sprang up and took off in hot pursuit.

"There, he looks fine now," the vet said. "That'll be $345."

"$345?!" the woman recoiled. "You're kidding! For what?"

"That's $45 for the office visit," he explained, "and $300 for the cat scan."

A coincidence? Stressed, when spelled backwards, is desserts!


A man accused of battery entered a guilty plea, and his lawyer asked the judge to be lenient. "My client is 72 years old, and it's his first offense," the lawyer pleaded. "He's been a productive citizen, and he's a World War II veteran."

The judge, also a WWII vet, perked up at this. "In what capacity?" The lawyer explained that his client fought tenaciously at Omaha Beach on D-Day.

"Why, I fought there myself," the judge said sympathetically. "Perhaps we even met. In what division were you, sir?"

The defendant mumbled, "Ninth Panzer, Your Honor."

Report Card

"Of course you were good at history. You were there!"

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