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My wife is a great driver. She gets in the car, makes a left turn, makes a right turn, and then pulls out of the garage. |
“The doctor says that
my wife and I need more exercise, so I bought myself a set of golf clubs,”
a man told his neighbor. “
And what did you buy for your
wife?” the neighbor asked.
“A lawn mower.”
Judge: “How did you
happen to hit the other car?”
Motorist: “It was my
wife’s fault. She fell asleep in the backseat.”
With his wife sick in bed, a man was
looking high and low for tea packets, when he finally said, “I can’t
find the tea, dear. Where did you put it?”
“It shouldn’t
be that hard to find,” she replied. “It’s right in front, on the
second shelf, in the cocoa tin marked ‘matches.’”
Two men were golfing
together when a long funeral procession drove down the road next to the golf
course. One man stopped in mid-swing, took off his hat, and bowed in prayer.
His friend said, “Wow, that’s the most thoughtful thing
I’ve ever seen.”
The man replied, “Yeah, well, we were
married 35 years.”
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